


The Group Chat From Hell

by SincerelyLittle



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Absolute Mess, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Gen, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Some Plot, Texting, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 20:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17567276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyLittle/pseuds/SincerelyLittle
Summary: A Haikyuu group chat: multiple chapters of different chats and different characters!Their chat history must be a backlog of bullshit and oya oya's





	1. Where's Hinata?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It got stuck in bold and I can't be bothered to go through it all and delete the <>

Originally posted on my Wattpad 

**\- ProbeMeInYourSpaceship Sent A Photo -**

****ProbeMeInYourSpaceship:** Guess who's gonna eat this ass tonight! <3 ;P **

****DoneWithYourShit:** Not you Trashikawa. **

****

****

****ShouUsYourDick:** pffft **

****SugaMama:** Keep it PG please! My children! **

****Saltishima:** Shrimp what are you even doing on here? You're not in class, where are you? **

****SugaMama:** HINATA'S NOT IN CLASS?!?!?! **

****Kurokink:** O shit. **

****Brokuto: **ShouUsYourDick:** snitch!!! ** **

******Saltishima:** heh ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceship:** Chibi-chan skipped?? *O* ** **

******DoneWithYourShit:** Must be your bad influence. ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceship:** Me?!?! ToT ** **

******SugaMama:** HINATA WHERE ARE YOU ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** well I had a late night doing what Oikawa couldn't...so i slept in -_-;; ** **

******Kurokink:** You fucked Iwaizumi?! (ㅇㅁㅇ) ** **

******DoneWithYourShit:** He did not! ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceShip:** Iwa-chan... You cheated on me?... ヽ(｀Д´)ﾉ ** **

******Brokuto:** Ohhh my god ** **

******Saltishima:** wtf is happening? ** **

******SugaMama:** Explain yourself!! ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** okay okay!!! one second, i'll take a pic ** **

******Brokuto:** Who is it?!?! @-@ ** **

******Kurokink:** Omg can't wait ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceship:** It's probably Kageyama ┐(´ー｀)┌ ** **

******Saltishima:** Nah he's here. ** **

******\- ShouUsYourDick Sent A Photo-** ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** Sleepyjima~ (＾ω＾) ** **

******Saltishima:** omfg... you didn't ** **

******Kurokink:** Holy fucking shit. Shrimpy is a badass ** **

******Brokuto:** Oya oya, am I seeing this right? ** **

******DoneWithYourShit:** Suga you okay? You've done quiet... ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceShip:** HOW COULD YOU CHIBI-CHAN щ(ಥДಥщ) ** **

******SugaMama:** I screamed. Hinata. Get to school now. ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** But he's going to make us breakfast... ** **

******Kurokink:** Ushijima making breakfast...For Shrimpy... ** **

******Brokuto:** Bro ** **

******Saltishima:** Hinata is your ass okay? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** huh? yeah it's fine? it's not like it's my first time with him or at all ** **

******SugaMama:** WHAT HAPPENED TO MY INNOCENT SON ** **

******Saltishima: He fucked Ushijima apparently.** ** **

********\- MiracleBoy Has Entered The Chat -** ** ** **

********MiracleBoy:** .... ** ** **

******Brokuto:** Here he is! ** **

******Kurokink:** What's for breakfast?（● ω ●） ** **

******Saltishima:** Hinata's ass. ** **

******KurokinkL** lolololololololol ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceShip:** USHIJIMA GET AWAY FROM CHIBI-CHAN (┛◉Д◉)┛ ** **

******DoneWithYourShit:** Why are you getting possessive? ** **

******SugaMama:**...I can't aymore ** **

******MiracleBoy:** Shouyou. ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:**...yeah? ** **

******MiracleBoy:** ...Excuse me? ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** ah... Yes Sir? ** **

******MiracleBoy:** Good boy, now get in the bed and wait. ** **

******ShouUsYourDick:** Yes Sir! ** **

******Saltishima:** (゜ロ゜;; ) ** **

******Kurokink:** Bro Shrimpy kinky af ** **

******Brokuto:** Bro Ushijima is his daddy! ** **

******DoneWithYourShit:** I think Suga-san passed out. ** **

******ProbeMeInYourSpaceship:** AKJSHSGFIDLKJFH WE NEED TO RESCUE CHIBI-CHAN ** **

******\- ShouUsYourDick Left The Chat -** ** **

********\- MiracleBoy Left The Chat -** ** ** **

********Saltishima:** Too late.** ** **


	2. Poor Lev

KuroKink: How did everyone's practice go? Ours was pretty good~ 

**\- KuroKink Sent A Photo -**

ShouUsYourDick: kageyama started another fight with me!!! 

Brokuto: Oohhhh fight me bro! ノಠ_ಠノ 

Kurokink: Bro no, I'm not fighting you 

AkaaShitHe'sHot: Babe you can't fight, you just bounce everywhere and annoy them until they leave. In all seriousness though, is Lev okay? 

Brokuto: Akaashi! How could you say that?! 

Kurokink: I'm sure he means it in a good way Bro 

Kurokink: Also sure he's fine 

AkaaShitHe'sHot: Yeah take it as a compliment & Kuroo, Yaku is going to kill you. 

Kurokink: He's not even online 

Brokuto: I do jump a lot... ●︿● 

**\- Yakult Has Entered The Chat -**

AkaaShitHe'sHot: Ah 

Kurokink: AKAASHI YOU JINXED IT! 

Brokuto: But am I really annoying?... 

Yakult: Kuroo... 

Kurokink: Hiii~ 

AkaaShitHe'sHot: No babe, you're not. 

Brokuto: Really?... 

AkaaShitHe'sHot: Really Koutarou. 

Brokuto: Okay! ♡＾▽＾♡ 

Yakult: WTF HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BOYFRIEND. WHERE ARE YOU?! 

Brokuto: O shit bro, run 

Kurokink: I DID NOTHING 

Kurokink: Also i'm in the gym what are you talking about? 

AkaaShitHe'sHot: ... 

Yakult: Then how come I don't see a rooster haired tall guy anywhere? 

Kurokink: I dunno... I'm definitely in the gym ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Brokuto: hehehe 

Yakult: ... Prove it. 

Kurokink: Okay~ 

**\- Kurokink Sent A Photo -**

Kurokink: See read the jersey it says Nekoma ^^ 

Brokuto: lololololol 

AkaaShitHe'sHot: He did say he was in a gym...just not which one. 

Yakult: If my boyfriend isn't okay by the time you get back from Fukurodani, I'll kill you. 

Yakult: In fact no, that's too light of a punishment. 

Kurokink: Kinky~ 

Yakult: Ugh 

**\- Yakult Left The Chat -**

AkaaShitHe'sHot: You better hope Lev wakes up. 

Kurokink: ....


	3. 3:24 AM

**[3:24 AM]**

PlayerOne: Anyone awake?... 

PlayerOne: My game died so I thought I'd see who's on here for once 

YamaGucci: You should try to sleep Kenma-san! 

Saltishima: Says the one awake at 3AM 

YamaGucci: Sorry Tsukki!! 

PlayerOne: You are also awake... 

YammaGucci: Yeah! Why are you awake?? 

Saltishima: Because someone won't stop sending me annoying messages, but if I turn my phone off I'll miss my alarm. 

Saltishima: Why are you awake?? 

**[Kurokink Has Entered The Chat]**

Kurokink: Don't liieeee 

Kurokink: You love my messages ;) 

:PlayerOne: Please never use a winky face again... 

Kurokink: Ouch I'm hurt Kenma! 

PlayerOne: Good. Die. 

Saltishima: Heh 

**[YamaGucci Sent A Photo]**

YamaGucci: Kenma-san you're pulling a cute face right now! 

Kurokink: Wait. You're with Kenma???? 

Saltishima: What the hell. 

YamaGucci: We were playing games and it got late, so I stayed over. 

YamaGucci: But Kenma gets really absorbed in them so he probably didn't realise I was still awake until he saw the chat. 

PlayerOne: .... 

YamaGucci: Kenma-san! That was mean! 

Kurokink: ???? 

PlayerOne: I threw a pillow at him... 

Saltishima: You didn't tell me you guys were friends 

YamaGucci: You didn't tell me you were fucking Kuroo 

YamaGucci: Even though everyone already knows. 

Saltishima: ... 

Kurokink: HAHAHAHA 

Kurokink: He shut you up heh 

PlayerOne: Stop talking Kuroo... 

PlayerOne:!!!! 

PlayerOne: Gotta go. 

**[PlayerOne Has Left The Chat]**

YamaGucci: Heh. 

**[YamaGucci Had Left The Chat]**

Kurokink: They're totally fucking. 

Kurokink: Speaking of... 

Saltishima: No.


	4. Sunday Morning

**[6:15 AM]**

YamaGucci: Morning!~ 

PlayerOne: morning Yamaguchi-san... 

YamaGucci: Did you get much sleep Kenma-san?? 

PlayerOne: uh...a little? 

YamaGucci: Try take a nap later today, okay? 

YamaGucci: Please? 

PlayerOne:...yeah okay. 

YamaGucci:...Promise? 

PlayerOne: i promise. 

YamaGucci: Thank you!!!! 

**[Saltishima Has Entered The Chat]**

Saltishima: Shut the hell up. 

YamaGucci: Sorry Tsukki!!! 

**[Kurokink Has Entered The Chat]**

Kurokink: Y is my phe blwin up on a sndy 

Kurokink: At 6am!?!?!? 

**[HellaGay Has Entered The Chat]**

HellaGay: You seem shocked 

HellaGay: Do you not have people sliding into your DMs on the regular? 

**[ReadyToSlay Has Entered The Chat]**

ReadyToSlay: Your horrible typing woke me up Kuroo 

Kurokink:.... 

Kurokink: Ofc I do 

Kurokink: Gd Mstukwa u dsrv it 

Saltishima: Hah. Right. 

Saltishima: Suurreee you do. 

ReadyToSlay: How dare you disgrace my name like that 

HellaGay: Babe, it's okay 

HellaGay: I'll roll over to you in a sec, I'm stuck in the blanket. 

Kurokink: Tsukki~ ur my regular~ 

Saltishima: You wish. 

Saltishima: And don't call me that. 

Kurokink: Y wish 4 it 

Kurokink: It alrdy hppnd 

Kurokink: Tsukki~ 

ReadyToSlay: Write. Properly. 

Kurokink:.....nu 

YamaGucci: Kenma-san... I feel for you 

PlayerOne: thank you. 

Kurokink: Hey! 

Saltishima: heh 

**[ProbeMeInYourSpaceship Has Entered The Chat]**

ProbeMeInYourSpaceship: Jerry! 

ProbeMeInYourSpaceship: Fuck. 

ProbeMeInYourSpaceship: *Hey! 

HellaGay: Who's Jerry? 

ReadyToSlay: :O 

ReadyToSlay: Could it be?? 

HellaGay: No way! 

ReadyToSlay: Oikawa is cheating on Iwa-chan!! 

HellaGay: Oikawa is cheating on Iwa-chan!! 

Kurokink: Oikawa is cheating on Iwa-chan!! 

ProbeMeInYourSpaceship:NO!!! I WOULD NEVER OMG NO 

PlayerOne: poor Iwaizumi-san... cheated on with a guy named Jerry... 

YamaGucci: A tragedy 

**[HellaGay Changed ProbeMeInYourSpaceship 's name to Jerry]**

Jerry: I DIDN'T CHEAT ON MY IWA-CHAN!! 

**[DoneWithYourShit Has Entered The Chat ]**

HellaGay: ooooohhhhhhh 

ReadyToSlay: Ooooohhhhh. 

Kurokink: O shit 

HellaGay: waddup! 

DoneWithYourShit: ... 

ReadyToSlay: Which Iwa-chan is it gonna be? 

HellaGay: Angry Iwa-chan? 

Kurokink: Maybe he'll just ignore him? 

ReadyToSlay: Oh my god, thank you, an actual sentence. 

Kurokink: FU 

YamaGucci: He's very quiet... 

Jerry: OH MY GOD-- 

Jerry: IWA-CHAN YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON YOU!!!! 

Jerry: RIGHT?!! YOU KNOW THAT!! 

PlayerOne: it's gonna be okay Iwaizumi-san.... 

PlayerOne: he's not worth it! 

Jerry: !!! 

KurokinK: Ouch Kenma 

DoneWithYourShit: I- 

DoneWithYourShit: I can't believe you've done this. 

YamaGucci: Did he just?... 

HellaGay: I think he did. 

DoneWithYourShit: I thought you loved me 

ReadyToSlay: Oh my god. 

Saltishima: Ooohhhhh Oikawa you've upset him. 

Jerry: IWA-CHAN!!! 

Jerry: I DO LOVE YOU!!!! 

Jerry: I didn't cheat!! It was autocorrect!!! 

HellaGay: wow. classic excuse there Oikawa. 

PlayerOne: woooooow 

YamaGucci: unbelievable 

Saltishima: the worst. 

Jerry: I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!!!! 

DoneWithYourShit: No please, tell me more. 

****[SugaMama Has Entered The Chat]** **

****

****

SugaMama: Guys...SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK TO BED 

HellaGay: A wild Suga appears 

ReadyToSlay: You're always beautiful Suga-san 

****[Dadchi Has Entered The Chat]** **

**Dadchi: Stay away from my man.**

****[Dadchi Has Left The Chat]** **

ReadyToSlay:..... 

HellaGay: Babe, don't mind. 

SugaMama: Seriously, go to sleeeeeep 

SugaMama: Also, Iwaizumi-san, you're welcome over here if you don't want to be near Oikawa-san 

DoneWithYourShit: Thank you Sugawara-san 

Jerry: HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. GO AWAY MR. REFRESHING!!! 

YamaGucci: I'm gonna go back to bed. Bye Kenma-san!! 

PlayerOne: bye... 

****[YamaGucci Has Left The Chat]** **

****[PlayerOne Has Left The Chat]** **

Saltishima:.... 

Kurokink: Awh, no goodbye for you Tsukki!~ 

****[Saltishima Has Left The Chat]** **

HellaGay: We're going too! 

****[HellaGay Has Left The Chat]** **

****[ReadyToSlay Has Left The Chat]** **

SugaMama: Thank you. 

****[SugaMama Has Left The Chat]** **

****

****

Jerry: Iwa-chan.... 

DoneWithYourShit: I know 

****[DoneWithYourShit Changed Jerry 's Name To Shittykawa]** **

**[DoneWithYourShit Has Left The Chat]**

ShittyKawa: I feel so loved.


	5. That Ass

**[ShouUsYourDick Has EnteredThe Chat]**

Saltishima: Oh look the annoying ray of sunshine is here 

Kurokink: Morning Shrimpy~ 

Brokuto: Hey hey hey! 

ShouUsYourDick: Someone told me I have a good ass, today! 

ShouUsYourDick: So I hope you all have a day as good as my ass!~ 

Saltishima: ... 

Kurokink: That's quite a good day to have 

Brokuto: Yeah I don't know if I can have a day that good 

Saltishima: wtf. 

Brokuto: Bro have you not seen that ass? 

Kurokink: Speaking of where is that ass? 

Saltishima: This one? 

**[Saltishima Sent A Photo]**

Saltishima: I caught him 

Kurokink: ... 

Brokuto: ... 

Kurokink: WTF YOU CAN'T JUST PRETEND TO NOT BE BOTHERED ABOUT HIM AND THEN STEAL HIM FROM US 

Brokuto: WHERE ARE YOU?! WE WILL SAVE YOU SHOUYOU! 

Saltishima: Good luck with that. 

**[Saltishima Has Left The Chat]**

ShouUsYourDick: we're at practice right now! He got Nishinoya-senpai to take the photo! 

ShouUsYourDick: Tsukishima is really tall and surprisingly warm! 

Kurokink: I feel betrayed. 

Brokuto: I thought we were your senpai! 

ShouUsYourDick: we'll come over later guys!~ 

****[ShouUsYourDick Has Left The Chat]** **


	6. Image Recieved

//// Have you noticed I ship Hinata with everyone....Not sorry 

///Also this one isn't a group chat but ...... 

**[1:05 AM]**

**[Image Received]**

Akaashi: I miss you... 

Hinata: Wow... 

Akaashi: Oh shit 

Akaashi: Hinata-kun, I'm so sorry! 

Akaashi: That was meant for Bokuto-san 

Hinata: you're really pretty Akaashi-kun!! 

Hinata: like all gwaah and whoaah 

Akaashi: Oh... Uh... Thank you Hinata 

**[Image sent]**

Hinata: i'll return the favour ;) 

Hinata: i had to go to the bathrooms since I didn't want the others waking up 

Hinata: which bathroom are you in? 

Akaashi: Hinata!! 

Hinata: you're not the first person to swap photos Akaashi-kun 

Hinata: but you're definitely the prettiest! 

Akaashi:....//// 

Akaashi: You are also really pretty Hinata-kun 

Hinata: hehe thank you!! 

Hinata: oh wait! 

Akaashi: ??? 

Hinata: i figured out where you are~ 

**[Image Sent]**

Akaashi: You're going to get caught! 

Akaashi: Hinata?? 

Hinata: it's fine, everyone is asleep 

Hinata: or doing the same thing as us 

Akaashi: .... 

**[Image Received]**

Hinata: i almost shouted 

Hinata: how are you so beautiful??? 

Hinata: Akaashi.... 

**[ Image Sent ]**

Akaashi: You're very interesting Hinata 

Akaashi: You seem so innocent during practice 

Hinata: gotta have some surprises 

Hinata: ;) 

Akaashi: I guess you do 

Akaashi: I heard something outside... 

Akaashi: I have to go, someone is coming into the changing room. 

Akaashi: Oh... 

// Meanwhile Bokuto's crying 'cause he didn't receive his photos 

// or maybe he got more than he bargained for? 

// your choice


End file.
